The reason for this writing was in response to a feature article. I've also included a link to one that explains as well part of where I'm coming from. As a woman having grown up elsewhere, then having spent most of my adulthood in New York City, I've had feet in two worlds ever since, and am constantly reminded of the contrasts of radically different environments, both for myself, other women, and not least of all my child.
As a woman who's now also had exposure with 'the system' and how many women are treated by other women to whom they turn for help, I've also experienced the secondary 'sexism' they often unconsciously or deliberately exercise in determining outcomes for other women and their children, as well as on other levels forms of 'reverse-racism', and been the target of trans-generational anger for what my 'fore-mothers' may or may not have done to others.
Though my upbringing was different, I now consider myself a member of the human race and do not identify much with my exterior, which is among other things, unapologetically female. According to the models illustrated, I'm neither 'feminist' nor "womanist", and do not necessarily agree with the definitions offered. Something in between might be a better description, though what that name might be is not for me to determine at this time.
I deeply respect and understand the oppression generations of women have endured from all races in their respective different ways, including the bloodlines that preceded my existence: those of my own family. Much of the former continues today, here, and often to an even greater almost unimaginable degree in other parts of the world.
In addition to attending to our own 'backyards' and streets, we do not have time to either unconsciously or otherwise punish each other for what our parents, grandparents, and those before them, where we are, 'did to each other'. By engaging in this residual generational resentment, sexism, patriarchy, and 'cultural elitism'(for lack of a better term), we collectively and simultaneously underserve ourselves and other women and children who continue to suffer, many with no voices at all.
Unlike other campaigns or elections, where more often than not it seemed like any vote was for 'the lesser of two evils', that is not the case now. As the article included here states better than I can, and as well for the reasons connected to those comprehensively covered by noted contributors, some of whom are personal friends, I must cast my vote for a particular woman, for all women, and their children.
In closing, I continue as a friend, equal, supporter, and spokesperson for women and children, so that our sons and daughters will no longer live in environments of fear, anger, and violence, as soon as possible, like now.
Goodbye to All That (#2):
http://www.womensmediacenter.com/ex/020108.html
Dangerous Trends, Innovative Responses:
http://www.womensenews.org/article.cfm/dyn/aid/2906/
American Psychological Association, Violence in the Family report:
http://www.apa.org/pi/viol&fam.html
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Three Things: What Now?
Many teachers, many lives; one met in person*, new contacts made: circles and waves of progress in rhythm. Two teachers, one known, one respected (+*=3), who had surprise brushes with the 'unknown', unanticipated.
Any day we are grateful simply to wake up, to arrive on time according to our chosen obligations, to 'be there' during a planned, significant, or spontaneous moment, and to arrive back to our respective 'homes' safe and sound, to recharge for another day. Yet even for 'the masters' (the ones who will not call themselves the same), some things cannot be anticipated in advance; 'life' delivers 'detours'. They ask the universe or themselves sooner than most 'ordinary folk': 'Why?'.
Not "Why me?", but rather 'Why?'. Years of experiences and 'practice' have conditioned them that purpose can be found in most every moment, so as soon as they can reflect, as their adopted 'habits' have served them, they look within to search for answers in peace, and at peace with what is offered. As humans, acceptance is not always immediate, even for those who have evolved 'far' for one lifetime.
As humans, plans have been made, and 'happenings' do not always serve the former; we are constantly reminded of our physical vulnerabilities at these times: how we respond unconsciously to chemical rushes in our systems that affect our thinking and responses. Our 'humanity' cannot always freely allow us to turn on and off attending to the 'short lists'.
Something else is at play; perhaps the collective 'we'. A proposed 'oneness' even the most aspiring of us have difficulty grasping when the rug underneath mysteriously disappears for what feels like a very long time, from a few moments that seem like hours, or hours that seem like days, months that seem like years (the warriors, who must perform like martial artists, out of necessity for the sake of others).
This is for friends, those loved, new and old, met and unmet, paths yet to cross again, and those that have. My heart is with you all; we are all children inside. Some of us can remember; all moments are precious.
When the fog is too thick, we're still there; the love is no less strong. Motionlessness is only as long as the next breath, or heartbeat, no matter how long it may feel like, until the flashing strobes and the foghorns lead us to where the next docking station is. We may bump the sides now and again before gliding into the slip: that's what the sides are for.
Our training, practice and repetitions put us on 'autopilot'; our reflexes take over for when full concentration cannot be summoned. We've been prepared for the unexpected; the inside comes out, to protect, to identify, and to define. The shapes long seen in our dreams become real; the 'missing' dimension fills the outline, and nothing looks the same from this moment on. Now is all we have. Listen, breathe, feel, look, connect, and 'see'.
Any day we are grateful simply to wake up, to arrive on time according to our chosen obligations, to 'be there' during a planned, significant, or spontaneous moment, and to arrive back to our respective 'homes' safe and sound, to recharge for another day. Yet even for 'the masters' (the ones who will not call themselves the same), some things cannot be anticipated in advance; 'life' delivers 'detours'. They ask the universe or themselves sooner than most 'ordinary folk': 'Why?'.
Not "Why me?", but rather 'Why?'. Years of experiences and 'practice' have conditioned them that purpose can be found in most every moment, so as soon as they can reflect, as their adopted 'habits' have served them, they look within to search for answers in peace, and at peace with what is offered. As humans, acceptance is not always immediate, even for those who have evolved 'far' for one lifetime.
As humans, plans have been made, and 'happenings' do not always serve the former; we are constantly reminded of our physical vulnerabilities at these times: how we respond unconsciously to chemical rushes in our systems that affect our thinking and responses. Our 'humanity' cannot always freely allow us to turn on and off attending to the 'short lists'.
Something else is at play; perhaps the collective 'we'. A proposed 'oneness' even the most aspiring of us have difficulty grasping when the rug underneath mysteriously disappears for what feels like a very long time, from a few moments that seem like hours, or hours that seem like days, months that seem like years (the warriors, who must perform like martial artists, out of necessity for the sake of others).
This is for friends, those loved, new and old, met and unmet, paths yet to cross again, and those that have. My heart is with you all; we are all children inside. Some of us can remember; all moments are precious.
When the fog is too thick, we're still there; the love is no less strong. Motionlessness is only as long as the next breath, or heartbeat, no matter how long it may feel like, until the flashing strobes and the foghorns lead us to where the next docking station is. We may bump the sides now and again before gliding into the slip: that's what the sides are for.
Our training, practice and repetitions put us on 'autopilot'; our reflexes take over for when full concentration cannot be summoned. We've been prepared for the unexpected; the inside comes out, to protect, to identify, and to define. The shapes long seen in our dreams become real; the 'missing' dimension fills the outline, and nothing looks the same from this moment on. Now is all we have. Listen, breathe, feel, look, connect, and 'see'.
Monday, March 31, 2008
I Speak, therefore, I Am.
Firstly, I would like to credit the founding practitioner/M.D. of Healthaftertrauma.com, for unintentionally prompting the subject matter of this month's post. Like all humans, and as many others have related, 'if I were consistently able to follow my own advice, I'd be somewhere else right now', which is why it means so much more and is especially gratifying when someone approaches and says that something they thought of as a result of what was said changed their life, or outlook, whether at the end of a presentation, or exceptionally, when they take the time or are able to see or find you at a later time to report the positive impact or results.
Another friend quoted, 'We teach what we need to learn', which is also true. I remain in humble admiration of the well-established ones whose names most of us have heard when they say they continue to do what they do long after fortune has made it unnecessary for them to 'work' because of what they are always learning from their students and audiences. It is these intentions I hope those that are so moved will aspire to as well.
Another admired presenter, founder of Magneticpersuasion.com, and the person who inspired this blog, of 'Mrfire.com', as well as other close and respected contacts, have reinforced: it is the 'introverts' of us who are often best suited. Why? Well, my personal story aside, more interesting for now is what these individuals have confirmed in their own unique and eloquent ways: it often comes across that we speak because we can't remain silent, having been left with the resolution after significant struggle, that our stories and what we have experienced give rise to an obligation and passion that not communicated is counter to personal growth and progess. The stirrings we can't ignore morph into our respective purposes, different for each of us, though similar in many ways. Anything less defies and diminishes not only ourselves; it also snuffs out what the communication of each of our stories would potentially cause to come to fruition for others.
It is this last thought, rather than what we think of ourselves, that oftentimes prompts us to that 'tipping point'. When we do it well, those we reach and touch also can more easily become invested in whatever what we say resonates in them, from the same origin, different for each: at some point, it becomes evident that not acting or following through is not an option in contrast to what is possible when we go forward. The fear of the unknown pales and overrides in comparison to the 'status quo', or lack of growth. The motivation is often not for self; it is rather for someone we know, or haven't met yet who, had we not taken these earlier steps, could perhaps not as easily have found what the waves of such efforts brought to them, if at all.
It's sometimes hard to swallow: if we're not growing we are dying. Children are growing by the minute, yet their spirits can be killed or permanently altered while they are still small. The truth is, in our society, most are profoundly negatively altered in some way. More of us were those children once, and that legacy continues. We can choose to lower the numbers, or go on with things as they are.
In our later years, those children will be our caregivers. As we realize how fleeting the best years of our lives are, more joy is available in looking into the eyes of a child and seeing a spirit fully engaged, validated, and ready to claim their birthright: the ability to leave the world a better place. An alternative is a soul with limited physical capacity at the mercy of a child who grew up into what there is too much of around us today, all the more devastating if that child is ours. They belong to us all, to make up for the lack of 'perfection' that surrounds them. Children are here to teach us: what we 'forgot', shaped by a flawed and tainted environment at best. To be able to communicate this is a gift, not to be ignored, in honor of and to encourage the huge souls and spirits of still-small hearts and priceless voices.
Another friend quoted, 'We teach what we need to learn', which is also true. I remain in humble admiration of the well-established ones whose names most of us have heard when they say they continue to do what they do long after fortune has made it unnecessary for them to 'work' because of what they are always learning from their students and audiences. It is these intentions I hope those that are so moved will aspire to as well.
Another admired presenter, founder of Magneticpersuasion.com, and the person who inspired this blog, of 'Mrfire.com', as well as other close and respected contacts, have reinforced: it is the 'introverts' of us who are often best suited. Why? Well, my personal story aside, more interesting for now is what these individuals have confirmed in their own unique and eloquent ways: it often comes across that we speak because we can't remain silent, having been left with the resolution after significant struggle, that our stories and what we have experienced give rise to an obligation and passion that not communicated is counter to personal growth and progess. The stirrings we can't ignore morph into our respective purposes, different for each of us, though similar in many ways. Anything less defies and diminishes not only ourselves; it also snuffs out what the communication of each of our stories would potentially cause to come to fruition for others.
It is this last thought, rather than what we think of ourselves, that oftentimes prompts us to that 'tipping point'. When we do it well, those we reach and touch also can more easily become invested in whatever what we say resonates in them, from the same origin, different for each: at some point, it becomes evident that not acting or following through is not an option in contrast to what is possible when we go forward. The fear of the unknown pales and overrides in comparison to the 'status quo', or lack of growth. The motivation is often not for self; it is rather for someone we know, or haven't met yet who, had we not taken these earlier steps, could perhaps not as easily have found what the waves of such efforts brought to them, if at all.
It's sometimes hard to swallow: if we're not growing we are dying. Children are growing by the minute, yet their spirits can be killed or permanently altered while they are still small. The truth is, in our society, most are profoundly negatively altered in some way. More of us were those children once, and that legacy continues. We can choose to lower the numbers, or go on with things as they are.
In our later years, those children will be our caregivers. As we realize how fleeting the best years of our lives are, more joy is available in looking into the eyes of a child and seeing a spirit fully engaged, validated, and ready to claim their birthright: the ability to leave the world a better place. An alternative is a soul with limited physical capacity at the mercy of a child who grew up into what there is too much of around us today, all the more devastating if that child is ours. They belong to us all, to make up for the lack of 'perfection' that surrounds them. Children are here to teach us: what we 'forgot', shaped by a flawed and tainted environment at best. To be able to communicate this is a gift, not to be ignored, in honor of and to encourage the huge souls and spirits of still-small hearts and priceless voices.
Friday, February 29, 2008
For My Child
You are a miracle, as is everyone in some way. Your arrival into this world and your life was meant to be. When you were born, my life began; whoever I was before ceased to be. Our life path would grow to be about those we grow up with, and how they shape us.
Our environments were different, our common threads are our roots, those we love. 'Home' is not a place, but rather a feeling. 'Safe' is not peace; peace is not the absence of stress. We must find separately what peace means. Sometimes there are no right answers, only what works for the moment.
When we are apart, my job has been done when you remember the stories we've shared about those we love who have helped make us who we are, and sharing with others what really matters with no apologies.
Sometimes we have to unlearn what doesn't make sense or work anymore, no matter how hard.
I hope you know that I am always with you, and the spirits of those who have loved us just as much. That depth is our common message.
Sometimes we have to stand out and be a little uncomfortable to continue the legacy of those who have taught us who we are, so that others can also claim themselves, inspired by the spirits who took the time to nurture us and show us the way...
Our environments were different, our common threads are our roots, those we love. 'Home' is not a place, but rather a feeling. 'Safe' is not peace; peace is not the absence of stress. We must find separately what peace means. Sometimes there are no right answers, only what works for the moment.
When we are apart, my job has been done when you remember the stories we've shared about those we love who have helped make us who we are, and sharing with others what really matters with no apologies.
Sometimes we have to unlearn what doesn't make sense or work anymore, no matter how hard.
I hope you know that I am always with you, and the spirits of those who have loved us just as much. That depth is our common message.
Sometimes we have to stand out and be a little uncomfortable to continue the legacy of those who have taught us who we are, so that others can also claim themselves, inspired by the spirits who took the time to nurture us and show us the way...
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Right Now
The 'inconvenience' of a post or two ago has had a 'transformational' effect. Much has happened (as is true in anyone's life, when we can take notice) that would have been different had there been more 'technology' at my disposal more often. By the same token, a mentor disclosed that a personal 'handicap' makes this more of his daily life than not, and he's a fortune in one form or another to show for it. Habits (not previously recognized as such) had to be dropped and new ones adapted to 'survive', and I am yet again reminded of what there is to be grateful for and what is taken for granted.
Another of the latter's friends became of acquaintence who, for the first time I've met and been able to relate to from a 'like bloodline', also symbolic and ironic, as the path travelled now is very much about who we all are inside, how we identify it (or not), and what we do with it. We are who we say we are; indeed, another famous quote (the source name which now escapes me) said that the most important conversations we miss until it is often too late are the ones we do not have with ourselves. Just letting you know it's not my quotation, though one to be lived by, or at least pondered (I'm not one to 'suggest' my opinions are for all to adopt, I'm grateful for the ones who think I should, though equally so for the ones who question).
Speaking for those who cannot yet find that voice; we are all born entitled to all the world can possibly offer. The world we live in and how we learn to see it shapes our lives every single moment. Two or more can walk together and spend years or lifetimes in similar circles, living in different worlds.
A blind man can 'see' without eyes, the deaf can 'hear' without ears, as can we. What separates us is how we develop our senses and learn to seek 'validations'.
Today I pray for all of us that every day, every moment, in some small way, that we see something that wasn't there before, in a place we've been to many times; this is part of life, and why the children and other humans from 'unlikely' places in unexpected moments flutter in and out of our consciousness to whisper the differences, the beauty of possibility, and the nature of beauty itself.
Another of the latter's friends became of acquaintence who, for the first time I've met and been able to relate to from a 'like bloodline', also symbolic and ironic, as the path travelled now is very much about who we all are inside, how we identify it (or not), and what we do with it. We are who we say we are; indeed, another famous quote (the source name which now escapes me) said that the most important conversations we miss until it is often too late are the ones we do not have with ourselves. Just letting you know it's not my quotation, though one to be lived by, or at least pondered (I'm not one to 'suggest' my opinions are for all to adopt, I'm grateful for the ones who think I should, though equally so for the ones who question).
Speaking for those who cannot yet find that voice; we are all born entitled to all the world can possibly offer. The world we live in and how we learn to see it shapes our lives every single moment. Two or more can walk together and spend years or lifetimes in similar circles, living in different worlds.
A blind man can 'see' without eyes, the deaf can 'hear' without ears, as can we. What separates us is how we develop our senses and learn to seek 'validations'.
Today I pray for all of us that every day, every moment, in some small way, that we see something that wasn't there before, in a place we've been to many times; this is part of life, and why the children and other humans from 'unlikely' places in unexpected moments flutter in and out of our consciousness to whisper the differences, the beauty of possibility, and the nature of beauty itself.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Since this began...
The event for which it was partially inspired has been noted by many that may wish to contribute, so that all who are connected may not again this year have events overlapping and more can be attended by more with common purposes...
Those highlighted by the media for deeds not for the good of all concerned returned to their previous occupations, almost as if nothing had happened...
We are at the end of another year, looking forward with hope and prayer that more of the former will occur, and less of the latter.
A very happy, abundant, and peaceful New Year to all, so that common visions for our best possible outcomes will progress, and common practices that serve the few at costs to many will continue to diminish.
'Peace is not the absence of tension, but the presence of justice' - MLK
Those highlighted by the media for deeds not for the good of all concerned returned to their previous occupations, almost as if nothing had happened...
We are at the end of another year, looking forward with hope and prayer that more of the former will occur, and less of the latter.
A very happy, abundant, and peaceful New Year to all, so that common visions for our best possible outcomes will progress, and common practices that serve the few at costs to many will continue to diminish.
'Peace is not the absence of tension, but the presence of justice' - MLK
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Thanks for the 'nudge' (writing one's own material).
In gratitude for being asked to submit text at a time that was not 'ideal' when the request was made. For similar reasons, 'current' feelings that are numerous will be reflected upon later, in the moment. Hope everyone had a wonderful month, and to making the most of every day...all the best.
What is Community Organizing? An Opinion.
On a rare day when the PBS channel was surfed to during January, I was happy to see that there were back to back presentations of actual footage from the civil rights movement. The stories of Rosa Parks and school segregations were shown in black and white clips produced at the time, including the involvement of Dr. Martin Luther King Junior. What struck me the most in all three was the story behind the story that we are either unaware of by lack of exposure to such details, or what has been watered down by our respective learning environments, from schools to the media.
What alarms me today and a large part of why we are here is the difference between the attitudes of the children portrayed in the former compelling footage and what has been witnessed by all of us within even the last 24 hours in our own community.
My heart was gripped imagining the emotions of the 6-year-old girl, her head down, focusing as well as she could on putting one foot in front of the other, being jeered at and threatened by grown people, mostly men.
Children of all backgrounds were interviewed on their thoughts about what was rapidly becoming heated in their school: the attendance of children of another color that was to begin within days, by court order. Here lies the contrast as was observed: children at all grade levels were accepting, logical, and embarrassed by the behavior of their own parents and other adults in their community.
Today, just a few generations later, it is the children as well who openly mimic the biases, prejudices, lack of understanding, resentment, anger, and yes, inherited hatred of those the size of adults who appear to ‘run’ the streets they travel daily. They are the products of their environments. Only by recognition, action, and improving the awareness of this damaging proximity and what it represents can we reclaim our dignity as humans, where we are, now, beginning with ourselves and acknowledging the parts we have played, however direct or otherwise.
The phrase ‘community organizing’ can ring as almost redundant, as the meaning of the word 'community' itself* can be interpreted as ‘services shared by all’, which to me, the operative word is ‘shared’. Every individual in every community has a right to peace and the quiet enjoyment of a home, a real home, not one where there is no peace; otherwise it is an additional environment of unrest, in addition to the street itself. The only difference is the separation of walls, which can make a so-called home even more dangerous than the open public space of ‘outside’.
‘Peace’, as so well defined by Dr. King, is one we can appreciate. It ‘is not the absence of tension, but rather, the presence of justice’. The latter can exist in many forms and on many levels. 'A threat to justice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere' is another of this great visionary’s memorable quotes. He was less inclined to first identify himself by the color of his skin than others were quick to do and thus relate to. He embraced calling every child his own, who are now our parents and grandparents, in the quest his shortened life only began; we have far to go in finishing the job, and looking around leaves much to be desired. How have we participated, and what can we do to insure that the next generation, our children, do not repeat history yet again?
We have all been ‘left out’ at many points in our lives; it is not the innocent or the weak who came into our world to bear the brunt of our anger and sense of injustice, however real or otherwise. We are cowards at any moment when anyone in our path becomes the recipient of displaced anger or resentment about either what we cannot control or another unreachable ‘oppressor’. Becoming ‘oppressors’ ourselves, knowingly or otherwise, only serves to reverse the efforts and disappoint the spirits of those who risked their lives for the freedoms we do have that we often take for granted.
The injustices are all around us; largely (in this country), they are often not ‘someone else’s fault’, were we only more aware, were we only more interested in what ‘freedom’ means to someone else. Ask. You will get many different answers. 'Community', in its ideal form, has order by the progressive and organized initiative of compassionate, aware, and pro-active souls who take responsibility from this moment forward that ‘outside’ forces can only harm us if we are unaware of each others’ unique and irreplaceable talents, gifts, and capacities. In failing to recognize, nurture, and utilize these natural resources in our own backyards and streets we have failed ourselves and those we see daily.
We are here together today to acknowledge and represent the strength of our collective talents and contacts. By actively and consistently engaging in and repeating the successes of those who carved paths before us to bring us where we are now, we are insuring a healthier and more just future for ourselves and our children. This begins by acknowledging and nurturing what we have now, both within our respective groups, and ourselves.
The exponential effect of simultaneously recognizing those with common visions near us, making it part of our mission to continuously communicate, locate, and build upon the collective and unique strengths of all who share a respect for the value of freedom, or the best for all concerned, is both the essence and heart of what organizing is. It is exactly the same kind of collective support and harmony exercised faithfully, intensely, and diligently over time that now enables our seats on the bus together, and our children in the same classrooms.
We must come together again in the same manner for what remains. If we succeed in copying the habits, faith, love, and acceptance exemplified by those we have now immortalized, we become like them. They were not gods, nor did they wish to be; they recognized their purpose, embraced it, and did not give up.
Their examples inspired others to join them; the power of their words and actions resonate today. It’s now our turn to do their bidding, not to put them on pedestals, but to join hands with their spirits, gather our numbers, and continue, if not finish what they came here to teach us. Only then, in our own skins, will we have something to truly be proud of, and that our children will as well.
Speech delivered at Medgar Evers College
11/7/07
What is Community Organizing? An Opinion.
On a rare day when the PBS channel was surfed to during January, I was happy to see that there were back to back presentations of actual footage from the civil rights movement. The stories of Rosa Parks and school segregations were shown in black and white clips produced at the time, including the involvement of Dr. Martin Luther King Junior. What struck me the most in all three was the story behind the story that we are either unaware of by lack of exposure to such details, or what has been watered down by our respective learning environments, from schools to the media.
What alarms me today and a large part of why we are here is the difference between the attitudes of the children portrayed in the former compelling footage and what has been witnessed by all of us within even the last 24 hours in our own community.
My heart was gripped imagining the emotions of the 6-year-old girl, her head down, focusing as well as she could on putting one foot in front of the other, being jeered at and threatened by grown people, mostly men.
Children of all backgrounds were interviewed on their thoughts about what was rapidly becoming heated in their school: the attendance of children of another color that was to begin within days, by court order. Here lies the contrast as was observed: children at all grade levels were accepting, logical, and embarrassed by the behavior of their own parents and other adults in their community.
Today, just a few generations later, it is the children as well who openly mimic the biases, prejudices, lack of understanding, resentment, anger, and yes, inherited hatred of those the size of adults who appear to ‘run’ the streets they travel daily. They are the products of their environments. Only by recognition, action, and improving the awareness of this damaging proximity and what it represents can we reclaim our dignity as humans, where we are, now, beginning with ourselves and acknowledging the parts we have played, however direct or otherwise.
The phrase ‘community organizing’ can ring as almost redundant, as the meaning of the word 'community' itself* can be interpreted as ‘services shared by all’, which to me, the operative word is ‘shared’. Every individual in every community has a right to peace and the quiet enjoyment of a home, a real home, not one where there is no peace; otherwise it is an additional environment of unrest, in addition to the street itself. The only difference is the separation of walls, which can make a so-called home even more dangerous than the open public space of ‘outside’.
‘Peace’, as so well defined by Dr. King, is one we can appreciate. It ‘is not the absence of tension, but rather, the presence of justice’. The latter can exist in many forms and on many levels. 'A threat to justice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere' is another of this great visionary’s memorable quotes. He was less inclined to first identify himself by the color of his skin than others were quick to do and thus relate to. He embraced calling every child his own, who are now our parents and grandparents, in the quest his shortened life only began; we have far to go in finishing the job, and looking around leaves much to be desired. How have we participated, and what can we do to insure that the next generation, our children, do not repeat history yet again?
We have all been ‘left out’ at many points in our lives; it is not the innocent or the weak who came into our world to bear the brunt of our anger and sense of injustice, however real or otherwise. We are cowards at any moment when anyone in our path becomes the recipient of displaced anger or resentment about either what we cannot control or another unreachable ‘oppressor’. Becoming ‘oppressors’ ourselves, knowingly or otherwise, only serves to reverse the efforts and disappoint the spirits of those who risked their lives for the freedoms we do have that we often take for granted.
The injustices are all around us; largely (in this country), they are often not ‘someone else’s fault’, were we only more aware, were we only more interested in what ‘freedom’ means to someone else. Ask. You will get many different answers. 'Community', in its ideal form, has order by the progressive and organized initiative of compassionate, aware, and pro-active souls who take responsibility from this moment forward that ‘outside’ forces can only harm us if we are unaware of each others’ unique and irreplaceable talents, gifts, and capacities. In failing to recognize, nurture, and utilize these natural resources in our own backyards and streets we have failed ourselves and those we see daily.
We are here together today to acknowledge and represent the strength of our collective talents and contacts. By actively and consistently engaging in and repeating the successes of those who carved paths before us to bring us where we are now, we are insuring a healthier and more just future for ourselves and our children. This begins by acknowledging and nurturing what we have now, both within our respective groups, and ourselves.
The exponential effect of simultaneously recognizing those with common visions near us, making it part of our mission to continuously communicate, locate, and build upon the collective and unique strengths of all who share a respect for the value of freedom, or the best for all concerned, is both the essence and heart of what organizing is. It is exactly the same kind of collective support and harmony exercised faithfully, intensely, and diligently over time that now enables our seats on the bus together, and our children in the same classrooms.
We must come together again in the same manner for what remains. If we succeed in copying the habits, faith, love, and acceptance exemplified by those we have now immortalized, we become like them. They were not gods, nor did they wish to be; they recognized their purpose, embraced it, and did not give up.
Their examples inspired others to join them; the power of their words and actions resonate today. It’s now our turn to do their bidding, not to put them on pedestals, but to join hands with their spirits, gather our numbers, and continue, if not finish what they came here to teach us. Only then, in our own skins, will we have something to truly be proud of, and that our children will as well.
Speech delivered at Medgar Evers College
11/7/07
Monday, October 29, 2007
Public Transportation
In a nutshell: humanity up close and personal. There are those who live in major metropolitan areas and choose to get around this way throughout their lives; others eagerly await the day to move to where a car is actually required, regardless of the cost, with a primary objective being no longer having the unpredictable immediate proximity of strangers and what accompanies being a part of their daily travels. All we have is today, as events and tragedies continue to remind us, and will continue, until we 'get it'.
I may or may not be torn when the day comes that I will be choosing between the comfort of a 'new car smell' and the faces of unknown children, their parents, grandparents, those elated and in visible pain in one form or another, and the option of the shared commute.
A balance of some kind would be in order; the more we are able to feel good or at peace during available moments, the easier it is to move ever closer to our common visions, and to help others to go to a 'place' where they may be able to claim visions of their own. Sensitive souls are often at risk for 'high vibrations' being quickly lowered by others' pain, too close for comfort.
There is no invisible 'force field', 'immunity', or guaranteed 'shield' from what can affect us or others at any given moment. This 'lesson' continues to repeat itself in different forms, either to us or as we witness it happen to others. There is a dispair that comes with the feeling of helplessness when those we love are in pain that we cannot easily or quickly 'fix'. It can have a 'slowing effect' on momentum, real or imagined, as those we love become temporarily 'disconnected' by trauma, grief, and recovery. It is how humans survive; to bounce back as though nothing happened would be unnatural or questionable.
Happiness is a choice; joy is momentary and ongoing at the same time, as our connections to each other become ever more acknowledged and forces are joined, slowly, in waves, spurts, and 'sudden' revelations.
Pain and joy witnessed as a captive audience on a bus, train, ferry, or other means is filtered through the awareness of all who see them individually and differently by single and separate human perceptions, directly connected to invisible conditions within each person. Gender, culture, race, anger, joy, fear, comfort, and anticipation of the unknown are but a few of too many to count: the layers through which one 'sees' what's directly in front of them.
We do not see what the one next to us observes, if they do at all. To identify the layers, we must first identify ourselves; no two are the same. Each has its place. What moments to act on; which to 'ignore'? The answers can only be within our grasp by knowing ourselves. From the deafening din of the inescapable there is no 'quiet' to go within and 'listen'. We must find the places to find ourselves in every possible moment, and identify why we are 'there'. Can peace be found in chaos, or is the latter merely another perception; the answer is different according to whom you ask, and at what moment.
As this is being written the loud laughter of children is filling the air. As it is mostly happiness and enjoyment, there is no distraction. This is a privelege: to be surrounded by joy in this moment, unanticipated, appreciated, accepted, cherished. Every breath is a miracle, as is every child, who in the next moment will be on their way to the next 'unknown'. If there is any purpose in this, it is to be reminded that it is within our power to instill as much contentedness as we can for as many moments as possible. Collectively, the potential rewards are infinite.
Isolation has its place in appropriate proportion, as does being steeped in a sea of 'unknown' souls. 'Balance' is subjective or relative, with no 'correct' answers. We feel for the sorrows, however temporary, of those across this sphere we cannot see or speak to in this moment, knowing we are all connected in some way, yet to be revealed, in process, necessary, and toward a higher level of understanding.
The soul across the aisle during a public commute can seem as far away, by choice or otherwise, impenetrable, or screaming from within, if not literally, if 'seen' at all. 'The luxury of thought' beyond basic survival waves forward again, not unlike a giant flag in the wind. It can feel like silk, or as rough and stinging as burlap, according to where we stand, or sit, in this moment. Again, the 'contrast' is part of 'understanding'. The children remind us of 'simplicity' in all its beauty: why they are born. A validation by a 'stranger' can be remembered for a lifetime (as well as a violation, by the same, or someone trusted). Every day is a 'lifetime' of events. There is value in perspective, incomplete without the sum of its parts. There is love, and there is 'contrast'. In gratitude: the best possible moment to you, in the spirit of all kindred wishes.
I may or may not be torn when the day comes that I will be choosing between the comfort of a 'new car smell' and the faces of unknown children, their parents, grandparents, those elated and in visible pain in one form or another, and the option of the shared commute.
A balance of some kind would be in order; the more we are able to feel good or at peace during available moments, the easier it is to move ever closer to our common visions, and to help others to go to a 'place' where they may be able to claim visions of their own. Sensitive souls are often at risk for 'high vibrations' being quickly lowered by others' pain, too close for comfort.
There is no invisible 'force field', 'immunity', or guaranteed 'shield' from what can affect us or others at any given moment. This 'lesson' continues to repeat itself in different forms, either to us or as we witness it happen to others. There is a dispair that comes with the feeling of helplessness when those we love are in pain that we cannot easily or quickly 'fix'. It can have a 'slowing effect' on momentum, real or imagined, as those we love become temporarily 'disconnected' by trauma, grief, and recovery. It is how humans survive; to bounce back as though nothing happened would be unnatural or questionable.
Happiness is a choice; joy is momentary and ongoing at the same time, as our connections to each other become ever more acknowledged and forces are joined, slowly, in waves, spurts, and 'sudden' revelations.
Pain and joy witnessed as a captive audience on a bus, train, ferry, or other means is filtered through the awareness of all who see them individually and differently by single and separate human perceptions, directly connected to invisible conditions within each person. Gender, culture, race, anger, joy, fear, comfort, and anticipation of the unknown are but a few of too many to count: the layers through which one 'sees' what's directly in front of them.
We do not see what the one next to us observes, if they do at all. To identify the layers, we must first identify ourselves; no two are the same. Each has its place. What moments to act on; which to 'ignore'? The answers can only be within our grasp by knowing ourselves. From the deafening din of the inescapable there is no 'quiet' to go within and 'listen'. We must find the places to find ourselves in every possible moment, and identify why we are 'there'. Can peace be found in chaos, or is the latter merely another perception; the answer is different according to whom you ask, and at what moment.
As this is being written the loud laughter of children is filling the air. As it is mostly happiness and enjoyment, there is no distraction. This is a privelege: to be surrounded by joy in this moment, unanticipated, appreciated, accepted, cherished. Every breath is a miracle, as is every child, who in the next moment will be on their way to the next 'unknown'. If there is any purpose in this, it is to be reminded that it is within our power to instill as much contentedness as we can for as many moments as possible. Collectively, the potential rewards are infinite.
Isolation has its place in appropriate proportion, as does being steeped in a sea of 'unknown' souls. 'Balance' is subjective or relative, with no 'correct' answers. We feel for the sorrows, however temporary, of those across this sphere we cannot see or speak to in this moment, knowing we are all connected in some way, yet to be revealed, in process, necessary, and toward a higher level of understanding.
The soul across the aisle during a public commute can seem as far away, by choice or otherwise, impenetrable, or screaming from within, if not literally, if 'seen' at all. 'The luxury of thought' beyond basic survival waves forward again, not unlike a giant flag in the wind. It can feel like silk, or as rough and stinging as burlap, according to where we stand, or sit, in this moment. Again, the 'contrast' is part of 'understanding'. The children remind us of 'simplicity' in all its beauty: why they are born. A validation by a 'stranger' can be remembered for a lifetime (as well as a violation, by the same, or someone trusted). Every day is a 'lifetime' of events. There is value in perspective, incomplete without the sum of its parts. There is love, and there is 'contrast'. In gratitude: the best possible moment to you, in the spirit of all kindred wishes.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
What is an 'inconvenience'?
BTW, 'friends' are now approaching 1000, though I haven't been online as much as 'would have liked' lately. Laughing and smiling create better energy, and crying doesn't help anyway. We may as well laugh; nothing is 'forever'. Yes we are often traumatized and must mourn; the latter is how we survive and function. Someday, more will understand. Just wasn't expecting this one, either, yet this is part of the journey.
Before I forget, as this is related to the original post that inspired in part the conception of this blog, the Global Initiative, or CGI convened at the U.N. this past week at a place that was also 'local'. However, as was the schedule not unlike what was described in the original post, I was needed elsewhere. Upon seeing the former president speaking with one of the most popular talk show hosts recently before this took place, I looked up what he had described on Google, though not diligently or persistently, and hadn't found anything. If I had, I may have found a way to be a part of it in some small way, or get together with some who were, had I known it was happening soon on a date not far off.
Apparently, this was not meant to be. Do I feel like I lost out? No. Some things are harder to grasp or comprehend than others, though for the most part (I'm told and often agree), that things happen for a reason. A 'fire was lit' under someone who was there, while I was 'tending to business' in places required elswhere in the city. From what they learned or were moved to action on at the U.N. was groundwork for our eventually getting together.
Some of the individuals who attended are already of acquaintance, others are not. Team members always accomplish more by being able to be in more than one place at once. Likewise, another group was also meeting in my mother's state; I was still needed and required here. It's only a matter of time before those there and I will be assessing where we go from here with common goals and visions; the latter is what brings us together. Who we are is joined by moving toward the same, meeting where those roads join, sooner or later. I'm just wondering at this moment who that I've already met were at which location while I also moved forward on the 'home front', not that this is really 'home' by literal description; it will be for those who choose so, and I see all of us smiling and laughing in concert with many children when the ribbon is cut in front of their new home: a place of hope, freedom, and promise.
What else to laugh about? Back to the start of today's post: what was done to stick to the commitment of making it for this month was a bit 'unusual'; could have been worse, like going to yet another borough had this one not had a library open on Sundays: a 'throwback' to where we were about two years ago, with only internet access from a library. We've been told than anyone can 'make it' on the internet, even if one doesn't own one at home or at a private place with unlimited time. I applaud those who say this in many places, though in locales like New York City, even giving someone in need at a critical time something like a free vehicle can have its drawbacks or 'downside'. Owning a car in a place like this is as often as not yet another 'high maintenance' proposition, as it's as expensive to maintain as rent costs in other parts of the country.
For related reasons, whereas it might be easy elsewhere in the US to maintain &/or build a website, do research, &/or successfully launch an online business from a public library; in a place like New York City when time permits there is only a maximum of an hour for any one session, and sometimes the wait can be hours (which I haven't done; when this happened, that's another day offline). My heart is again reminded of those now where we once were, as we laugh and smile as much as possible at the twists and turns along the way: like finding out the hard way that a computer has a lifespan, or not knowing the warning signs that time is limited for a full backup. Had gone so far as to get the drive to copy all painstakingly created files, just waiting for a block of time that permitted the transfer. Then one morning with no warning, 'friend' computer would no longer come on. Six years of work now wait for a data recovery specialist to return them to their creator. Today isn't the day, for that.
What not having our 'special friend' in the house 'caused' was a long walk in the neighborhood for new discoveries on one of the remaining beautiful days of late summer/early fall, when I might otherwise have been inside online, still approaching the 'turning point' for what will be shared with others as a result of this journey. We will make sure that it won't take others as long to reach their days of freedom; we had this journey first to carve the way for others, as others have before us for what we now take for granted. It's times like this that 'gratitude' means everything in terms of how we respond; how I would have done so at this time when things were so much worse would have been different. We can all make things different, just by 'seeing through different eyes', according to 'where we are'. I'm laughing and smiling today whenever possible, grateful for those I love who know so, and those who feel the same for me and others.
Before I forget, as this is related to the original post that inspired in part the conception of this blog, the Global Initiative, or CGI convened at the U.N. this past week at a place that was also 'local'. However, as was the schedule not unlike what was described in the original post, I was needed elsewhere. Upon seeing the former president speaking with one of the most popular talk show hosts recently before this took place, I looked up what he had described on Google, though not diligently or persistently, and hadn't found anything. If I had, I may have found a way to be a part of it in some small way, or get together with some who were, had I known it was happening soon on a date not far off.
Apparently, this was not meant to be. Do I feel like I lost out? No. Some things are harder to grasp or comprehend than others, though for the most part (I'm told and often agree), that things happen for a reason. A 'fire was lit' under someone who was there, while I was 'tending to business' in places required elswhere in the city. From what they learned or were moved to action on at the U.N. was groundwork for our eventually getting together.
Some of the individuals who attended are already of acquaintance, others are not. Team members always accomplish more by being able to be in more than one place at once. Likewise, another group was also meeting in my mother's state; I was still needed and required here. It's only a matter of time before those there and I will be assessing where we go from here with common goals and visions; the latter is what brings us together. Who we are is joined by moving toward the same, meeting where those roads join, sooner or later. I'm just wondering at this moment who that I've already met were at which location while I also moved forward on the 'home front', not that this is really 'home' by literal description; it will be for those who choose so, and I see all of us smiling and laughing in concert with many children when the ribbon is cut in front of their new home: a place of hope, freedom, and promise.
What else to laugh about? Back to the start of today's post: what was done to stick to the commitment of making it for this month was a bit 'unusual'; could have been worse, like going to yet another borough had this one not had a library open on Sundays: a 'throwback' to where we were about two years ago, with only internet access from a library. We've been told than anyone can 'make it' on the internet, even if one doesn't own one at home or at a private place with unlimited time. I applaud those who say this in many places, though in locales like New York City, even giving someone in need at a critical time something like a free vehicle can have its drawbacks or 'downside'. Owning a car in a place like this is as often as not yet another 'high maintenance' proposition, as it's as expensive to maintain as rent costs in other parts of the country.
For related reasons, whereas it might be easy elsewhere in the US to maintain &/or build a website, do research, &/or successfully launch an online business from a public library; in a place like New York City when time permits there is only a maximum of an hour for any one session, and sometimes the wait can be hours (which I haven't done; when this happened, that's another day offline). My heart is again reminded of those now where we once were, as we laugh and smile as much as possible at the twists and turns along the way: like finding out the hard way that a computer has a lifespan, or not knowing the warning signs that time is limited for a full backup. Had gone so far as to get the drive to copy all painstakingly created files, just waiting for a block of time that permitted the transfer. Then one morning with no warning, 'friend' computer would no longer come on. Six years of work now wait for a data recovery specialist to return them to their creator. Today isn't the day, for that.
What not having our 'special friend' in the house 'caused' was a long walk in the neighborhood for new discoveries on one of the remaining beautiful days of late summer/early fall, when I might otherwise have been inside online, still approaching the 'turning point' for what will be shared with others as a result of this journey. We will make sure that it won't take others as long to reach their days of freedom; we had this journey first to carve the way for others, as others have before us for what we now take for granted. It's times like this that 'gratitude' means everything in terms of how we respond; how I would have done so at this time when things were so much worse would have been different. We can all make things different, just by 'seeing through different eyes', according to 'where we are'. I'm laughing and smiling today whenever possible, grateful for those I love who know so, and those who feel the same for me and others.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Friends that have doubled, again
The end of the month again; I'm less and less 'at a loss for words'. The progress marker here is that I'm closer to being able to speak as well as I write more consistently. Years ago, during my 'formative' and single years in NYC, I read in a group invited and attended by a playwright and school friend The Velveteen Rabbit, about how when you love something enough, it becomes real. After reading the passage I'd selected, my friend said "You have to do this!", almost pleadingly, her eyes beginning to well with tears. She was referring to my going forward with the reason I'd come to New York: an acting career. I'm ready now, though still not for 'the public'. The young ones who are so talented are so good at 'being others' before they know who they are; I was not unlike them.
Then or shortly thereafter, doors were beginning to open; I stepped back from the threshold of where the journey had taken me, realizing my privacy and whatever love was to me at the time was worth more than mass attention.
I've found 'my place'; it's time to 'practice'. An 'advice column' the following is not; they're my responses to questions on a forum whose thread titles caught my eye. Often the answers do come from others' questions, as mentioned here before (also not by me originally either). I remain grateful for everything and everyone: those that continue to 'guide' as we move forward together.
Thread title: Happening upon money...
Several issues have arisen here, that make me first think of Joe Vitale, whom I deeply respect and admire. Ask him what it's like to live on the street, and you may get a different story than the generalization described and supported in this thread, both, with all due respect and acknowledgment of their kind intentions, do not appear to have had any personal experience with the concept of 'homelessness'.
It is these generalizations and lack of first-hand knowledge in working with 'homeless' individuals and others in related circumstances that contributes to their being regarded as a population 'unworthy' of 'charity', kept separate from those who make such judgments, who do so from lack of understanding of root causes that many in society contribute to by treating those less fortunate as 'undeserving'.
Many of these individuals may not 'come back' because of how they have been treated in their lives to a point that they now buy into the feeling of 'worthlessness', and carry it on. We are responsible for where they are, too. To go into detail of the realities of some of these lives would take too much here.
For now I'm merely pointing out that we cannot condemn someone whose shoes we have not walked in (or comment on those who have none) without better understanding or reconsidering what others have related that sticks as 'popular wisdom'. I'm not advocating directly giving money to someone on the street (we usually give food, or some coins to someone when my child asks); finding reputable and dedicated outreach programs is recommended for 'tithing': a term not restricted to 'religious' settings (see Mark Victor Hansen's The Miracle of Tithing, Jack Canfield's Chicken Soup partner, available as a free download).
As for pressure from 'churches', if this is a feeling that comes from such a setting, perhaps looking for a different spiritual environment could be on the agenda for anyone who may feel this way. Again another long conversation; some 'religious' congregations are more restrictive than others. If it doesn't feel right, holds one back in any way, or does not help in your intentions for being there, there's a reason.
Joe Vitale himself makes recommendations on giving and faith; he has a regular blog as well. Have an exceptionally abundant day.
Thread title: !!!!!VERY INSPIRING!!!!!!
I was drawn to the title you gave the thread, then found you were asking about your appearance and starting school, which is fine. Since I'm here and can't turn back the clock, nor did I have anyone to tell me what all of these wonderful souls have already offered you here, since you asked for more, I'll add my take, b/c you are at a critical age that is to your advantage for an incredibly prosperous and exemplary life. Here goes: Decide what you want, for you, nobody else. It doesn't happen just by asking yourself in an instant, though that's a recommended start. Pay attention to what stirs you.
What do you love to do, what would you do for free, and not think about having to make a living when you get out of school? There are teens now beginning to do just that, which wasn't nearly as possible when I was your age. Love about yourself what you feel no one else understands, that you feel you're an expert on. The rest will follow; doing this now will make the rest of your life perhaps someone who could go into the history books. Read the biographies of those who have done just that; many started early. Take advantage of the haven your school library is at this time in your life, which many your age (& others) do not have.
Do not compare yourself to your classmates, especially the ones who try to make you feel bad; they're not your friends. Do not engage in making others feel bad either, just to fit in. If you do all of these things, you'll be too busy to notice the exterior of your physical form is taking care of itself. Focus on eating healthy and getting as much exercise as you can, to keep the blood and energy in a constant flow to your brain and heart, especially since you're not finished physically growing. Teach yourself as well everything that's out there about money from those who really know (not your family, friends, or anyone who isn't already or nearly a millionaire), which wasn't as available before either.
You're growing up in an extraordinary time; there's no reason why you can't be, do, or have anything you want. Decide specifically what that is, and you will find tremendous joy in teaching others the same just by their being attracted to how you're doing it! It's yours for the taking, once you decide at this best time in your life.
Thread title: Can another person use their own intention...
We are all truly blessed to be in a community of such positive, involved, and engaged support; my applause and gratitude to all of you for your caring and wise words. My response can't really add much to the advice already so generously given.
It may seem extreme to contemplate leaving, though I wouldn't disagree; anything with this type of dynamic present will most likely only get worse. You may be 'holding out' for the relationship depicted in the movie that shows arguing turned around into affection by focusing on the partner's 'good points'; if this person has actually witnessed your interest and puts it down relentlessly, it may best to cut your losses and think about your own future in short order.
Many of us know how difficult and painful this can be, though the longer the delay, the greater the cost. Time cannot come back; how many friends do we know who have lost years of their lives waiting for the relationship they've invested years into to turn around? One of the teachers even said: 'You are the average of your top five most frequent contacts'. Jack Canfield in particular quotes this often from one of his original mentors. In choosing between 'good' and 'great', all ties that hold us back must be 'let go'.
We are responsible for finding our true bliss and giving back what each of us individually can in our own unique ways that no one can duplicate. Children and young people are waiting to learn from your example and legacy, contrary to what they have seen as more common. Please be 'uncommon', so that the next generation is further empowered to follow their dreams and not give it all up for one fully grown who will have to take care of themselves when you find the way to not let them hold you back.
This is so much easier said than done; there's never a 'good time' in these situations, so it's better now than 'another time'. "Take the first step", as begins "the journey of a thousand miles", do not look back, find 'yourself', and make sure every step that follows, every day, is 'forward': replace every hindering thought with a forward one, which has times more power, until the latter becomes habit. When it does, it won't be necessary to look back and see how far you've come; it will be obvious. Your dreams may include that person, in not giving up your wish for their peace, which they, like you, must find on their own, as we all do; it isn't your job to complete their 'world'.
You're surrounded by the right people when you feel better in having been with them; when your energy is less or you feel worse by having given to anyone who does not understand, it serves no one in investing your time there. So there you have it: another lengthy variation on what’s already been said; arrangements of words speaks to each of us differently. Did I plan this? No. Does having said it bring on better feelings? Yes. Will those take us closer to where we want to be? Yes. Best to all.
Then or shortly thereafter, doors were beginning to open; I stepped back from the threshold of where the journey had taken me, realizing my privacy and whatever love was to me at the time was worth more than mass attention.
I've found 'my place'; it's time to 'practice'. An 'advice column' the following is not; they're my responses to questions on a forum whose thread titles caught my eye. Often the answers do come from others' questions, as mentioned here before (also not by me originally either). I remain grateful for everything and everyone: those that continue to 'guide' as we move forward together.
Thread title: Happening upon money...
Several issues have arisen here, that make me first think of Joe Vitale, whom I deeply respect and admire. Ask him what it's like to live on the street, and you may get a different story than the generalization described and supported in this thread, both, with all due respect and acknowledgment of their kind intentions, do not appear to have had any personal experience with the concept of 'homelessness'.
It is these generalizations and lack of first-hand knowledge in working with 'homeless' individuals and others in related circumstances that contributes to their being regarded as a population 'unworthy' of 'charity', kept separate from those who make such judgments, who do so from lack of understanding of root causes that many in society contribute to by treating those less fortunate as 'undeserving'.
Many of these individuals may not 'come back' because of how they have been treated in their lives to a point that they now buy into the feeling of 'worthlessness', and carry it on. We are responsible for where they are, too. To go into detail of the realities of some of these lives would take too much here.
For now I'm merely pointing out that we cannot condemn someone whose shoes we have not walked in (or comment on those who have none) without better understanding or reconsidering what others have related that sticks as 'popular wisdom'. I'm not advocating directly giving money to someone on the street (we usually give food, or some coins to someone when my child asks); finding reputable and dedicated outreach programs is recommended for 'tithing': a term not restricted to 'religious' settings (see Mark Victor Hansen's The Miracle of Tithing, Jack Canfield's Chicken Soup partner, available as a free download).
As for pressure from 'churches', if this is a feeling that comes from such a setting, perhaps looking for a different spiritual environment could be on the agenda for anyone who may feel this way. Again another long conversation; some 'religious' congregations are more restrictive than others. If it doesn't feel right, holds one back in any way, or does not help in your intentions for being there, there's a reason.
Joe Vitale himself makes recommendations on giving and faith; he has a regular blog as well. Have an exceptionally abundant day.
Thread title: !!!!!VERY INSPIRING!!!!!!
I was drawn to the title you gave the thread, then found you were asking about your appearance and starting school, which is fine. Since I'm here and can't turn back the clock, nor did I have anyone to tell me what all of these wonderful souls have already offered you here, since you asked for more, I'll add my take, b/c you are at a critical age that is to your advantage for an incredibly prosperous and exemplary life. Here goes: Decide what you want, for you, nobody else. It doesn't happen just by asking yourself in an instant, though that's a recommended start. Pay attention to what stirs you.
What do you love to do, what would you do for free, and not think about having to make a living when you get out of school? There are teens now beginning to do just that, which wasn't nearly as possible when I was your age. Love about yourself what you feel no one else understands, that you feel you're an expert on. The rest will follow; doing this now will make the rest of your life perhaps someone who could go into the history books. Read the biographies of those who have done just that; many started early. Take advantage of the haven your school library is at this time in your life, which many your age (& others) do not have.
Do not compare yourself to your classmates, especially the ones who try to make you feel bad; they're not your friends. Do not engage in making others feel bad either, just to fit in. If you do all of these things, you'll be too busy to notice the exterior of your physical form is taking care of itself. Focus on eating healthy and getting as much exercise as you can, to keep the blood and energy in a constant flow to your brain and heart, especially since you're not finished physically growing. Teach yourself as well everything that's out there about money from those who really know (not your family, friends, or anyone who isn't already or nearly a millionaire), which wasn't as available before either.
You're growing up in an extraordinary time; there's no reason why you can't be, do, or have anything you want. Decide specifically what that is, and you will find tremendous joy in teaching others the same just by their being attracted to how you're doing it! It's yours for the taking, once you decide at this best time in your life.
Thread title: Can another person use their own intention...
We are all truly blessed to be in a community of such positive, involved, and engaged support; my applause and gratitude to all of you for your caring and wise words. My response can't really add much to the advice already so generously given.
It may seem extreme to contemplate leaving, though I wouldn't disagree; anything with this type of dynamic present will most likely only get worse. You may be 'holding out' for the relationship depicted in the movie that shows arguing turned around into affection by focusing on the partner's 'good points'; if this person has actually witnessed your interest and puts it down relentlessly, it may best to cut your losses and think about your own future in short order.
Many of us know how difficult and painful this can be, though the longer the delay, the greater the cost. Time cannot come back; how many friends do we know who have lost years of their lives waiting for the relationship they've invested years into to turn around? One of the teachers even said: 'You are the average of your top five most frequent contacts'. Jack Canfield in particular quotes this often from one of his original mentors. In choosing between 'good' and 'great', all ties that hold us back must be 'let go'.
We are responsible for finding our true bliss and giving back what each of us individually can in our own unique ways that no one can duplicate. Children and young people are waiting to learn from your example and legacy, contrary to what they have seen as more common. Please be 'uncommon', so that the next generation is further empowered to follow their dreams and not give it all up for one fully grown who will have to take care of themselves when you find the way to not let them hold you back.
This is so much easier said than done; there's never a 'good time' in these situations, so it's better now than 'another time'. "Take the first step", as begins "the journey of a thousand miles", do not look back, find 'yourself', and make sure every step that follows, every day, is 'forward': replace every hindering thought with a forward one, which has times more power, until the latter becomes habit. When it does, it won't be necessary to look back and see how far you've come; it will be obvious. Your dreams may include that person, in not giving up your wish for their peace, which they, like you, must find on their own, as we all do; it isn't your job to complete their 'world'.
You're surrounded by the right people when you feel better in having been with them; when your energy is less or you feel worse by having given to anyone who does not understand, it serves no one in investing your time there. So there you have it: another lengthy variation on what’s already been said; arrangements of words speaks to each of us differently. Did I plan this? No. Does having said it bring on better feelings? Yes. Will those take us closer to where we want to be? Yes. Best to all.
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