New Birthday

Birthdays have become cumbersome by a certain age.  I've remained the same age by choice now for several years, and for obvious reasons must now change the claimed age for credibility purposes to another year, by one.  Let's see how long it can carry me. 

My younger sister still looks younger; I don't bother with makeup for a significant number of years now.  I've adopted the Elizabeth Warren with glasses look, with longer hair, and the days are numbered for that as well. 

It was a good birthday this year, for the first time in awhile.  As I didn't really 'have' the birthdays in between, it's pretty much a wash anyway. 

Last night with all the family excitement, us actually being together for a holiday, I again knew what day it was and the overwhelm factor was so strong yet again the evening passed, until today. 

Still recovering, grateful everyone is safe, and scratching the surface of the catching up from what is usually maintained when alone, almost abandoned with family events in progress.   We will all be still recovering for several days from the travel and getting back to life without family together, which in a way seems very much wrong and neither ideal nor optimally functional.  So much more can happen for the better when everyone is together long and often enough.  Staying busy keeps the sadness away.  Productivity is in spurts instead of steady, which would be different otherwise.

Calm Before the Storm

As the words were written; I'm thinking again of those for whom a literal storm is approaching, and reminded of how small what the rest of us face today is by comparison. I'm not watching the news today; doing so is another precious time drainer. Life is too short and as each day passes there is so much to do with the gift of each day that we have.

I'm literally sitting in the dark; coming into a place that is another blessing, with no lights on. A timer turned them off. I could get up and turn them on again, though it's as if there's a nudge that my reason for coming in at all is sticking to my commitment of making this entry on the last day of the month, and that I should make this session short; there's life going on out there and I'm to take care of other things, too, on a day when the rest of the blessed ones are enjoying a long holiday weekend. I think again of those who know of their blessings.

Again, I watched a DVD by a respected friend who has thrived and prospered by living on the edge. Not unlike her and as she has chosen to continue, I've lost touch with whatever a 'comfort zone' is. The difference between us is I'm where she was at a much earlier time in her life, when living on the edge was circumstance before it became conscious choice. Comfort is appreciated, though fleeting, as there are 'miles to go before sleep'.

This is for those without the 'luxury' of having a place to go to write or keep a commitment, who've not yet learned what a commitment is; life is about whether or not there will be any food, or a place to sleep that's safe and dry. Many of these are children; some are alone.

This is what life is; they're all our children. My gift is perspective; we are all connected. The latter was not learned until much later; it was a cliche' until understood. The more learned the more that is revealed that opens up realms that can't be mastered in one lifetime. So again I feel small, though not in a powerless way.

When abundance is all around in the most obvious way, I will still be a student. When others call me an expert or authority I will still be learning from the children. They arrive to teach us what we have forgotten, and continue to remind us that we never get it all, they can smile and be happy 'for no reason', as we all are entitled to do at any moment.

Happiness is momentary, and our purpose here is to increase the ratio of those moments as much as possible for ourselves and others. Children can do it for no charge and create other smiles, for moments that are all too fleeting. There's a lesson in there. Then when an 'expert' re-learns the 'skill' of 'teaching' others that we all have that choice at any moment, they're paid thousands per hour. The environments we grew into made us forget we always had a choice, and huge amounts of the luxury of time and money were re-invested to 'remember'.

When we ignore or diminish the joy of a child we ignore and diminish ourselves. When the environment overwhelms us to the point that taking time to know what matters is a 'luxury' we 'don't have', abundance has not abandoned us; it is we that have left.

I can pray at this moment that those preparing for yet another storm are delivered to safety with minimal inconveniences. One human life can only tolerate so many storms without the proper support. There is enough for everyone to thrive; we must be there before the storm in some way, whatever way we can. There is no honor in a 'noble' reaction to the 'aftermath'; there are no 'heroes' when enough were aware in advance and chose not to offer as much as a prayer. We are all set back when another suffers in a way that could have been prevented. Every moment must be weighed when getting to 'what's next' overshadows a 'child' reaching out, as it's happening somewhere, every moment. The more we remember, the more smiles, the fewer tears, the more life.