Dog Drill

Have reached a new decade and made it for over a month now. Asked my child what to make this about for the month and he said "dogs". So the first thing I thought of was 'The Dog Whisperer', to whom I'm grateful for what he has taught us so far.

Had dogs when I was my child's age, and was not taught how to appreciate them. Everything is about the example one is presented with from which to follow.

We couldn't do his homework assignment on the subject this month, as the dogs we know are domesticated, and the former was for animals in their natural habitat in 'the wild', past or present. The wish to focus on the inspiration of the dog whisperer is a reflection of the impact instilled since being exposed to his work for the first time. 'Amazing' again, how exposure to something different can have an effect on someone, which can be said for a lot of things, positive and otherwise.

He wants a dog, it is his wish second to our having a bigger place, which he made his first wish of the new year with his new Stone of Dreams from a Disney show.

Didn't get emotional when my son made that wish aloud, though it would have been very easy to, or I didn't show it at that moment. He can still cry, though part of him is very different and it's better now if the tears he does see are kept to a minimum.

Anyway, our dog will be worth the wait; let the healing begin, and thanks to all the other angels like Cesar who live for and amongst us.

Turning the corner

This time tomorrow, it will be another decade, another birthday, another turning point. This year is no exception in that having a birthday at a time when others are celebrating makes for leaving out the details of one's personal reality, for better or otherwise. It's not about age, as this has been happening since adolescence or as long as can be remembered. It's just too much at once: a birthday and major holiday at the same time, not unique to anyone who is familiar with the same.

So the celebration is deliberately a quiet one, known only by those close. Forgotten almost as soon as it's mentioned to anyone who might overhear, unless one is a celebrity. Still no regrets there. There might have been another child, though not the same one, who has been a gift and a miracle. As fragile as ever, who brought on the reckoning of another childhood lost, though not so much as others. Knowing the latter neither compensates for or lessens the impact when it's your only family, one's only child, grandchild, nephew, cousin, with their own precious life that passes in minutes, hours, days, and weeks that will not be replaced.

To some, we are not unique, depersonalized and labelled from the moment help and protection is sought. Categorized, stigmatized, triaged, stereotyped, profiled: our social conditioning, the biases of our respective environments, or simply social pressure, sometimes called 'politics', for lack of a better term. No wonder so many times 'no good deed goes unpunished'. In a different environment it's nearly impossible to imagine what happens to others, much less the long-term impact, especially early in life. For those who survive the connections and progression becomes very clear over time, yet those considered elders without awareness or knowledge continue to repeat history.

There is always something to be grateful for, yet for those whose loved ones are unaccounted for or whose whereabouts or state of health is unknown there is no peace. Not everyone loves children, not even their own; for those who do life is never the same once the completely unexpected changes everything forever in the blink of an eye, the stroke of a pen, an uninformed statement, all at once. Over time, there are many tears unknown or ignored, the source unrecognized. There are premature deaths, literal and of the spirit; personalities become completely different from abrupt changes in environment and exposure. And we wonder what is wrong with the current generation or the one before, as if it had nothing to do with the decisions of those who never touched them 'in any direct way'.

Perception is not what we see, any more than what we're told. The evolution of a spirit is only as good as its environment and support system in many regards, though not all. No child deserves to have their childhood taken. Looking at others through different eyes and listening to the words of souls without knowing where they came from one cannot distinguish between who is actually the child, as the most wisdom often comes from who is thought to be the latter.

So as the fireworks go off and confetti descends, the choice is to remain silent, for now.