Sexist Conditioning Guilt

I hate to admit it, though there are times when I will sooner accept the advice from a man than a woman, and I'm a woman.  Chalk it up in part to the fact that the highest number of betrayals in my life have been by women (though those by men however fewer may have gone deeper; it was usually less of a shock, and less memorable in most cases).  These 'perpetrating females' have been socially conditioned to undermine any other female that poses a 'threat'.  I'm not that way, though for the same reason have had a very difficult time with female friendships; other women have just proven themselves to be less trustworthy.  I'm not more trusting of men per se; I would just sooner seek out their expertise and skill in business, as the way women have been taught to do business too often, whether they realize it or not, is to be competitive with other women.  

I really can't relate; my philosophy is there's more than enough to go around for everyone, and that no two people can bring the same thing to the table and carry out a project in the same way.  All are unique, and the effectiveness of one woman's method relies largely on the surrounding team or support circle.  Bringing down another woman to maintain power or position hurts all women, and only reinforces the patriarchy that shaped where we are now.

On a similar note, for a major surgery that involves manipulating an unconscious body, I would sooner trust a man for the mere fact he's physically strong enough to do what is necessary in the least amount of time and thus minimizing potential harm by not keeping said person's body on the operating table any longer than it has to be.  It's perhaps not the most true in all circumstances or in reality all the time, though in hopes of having to make that choice only once, it would have to be a male.  It shouldn't feel like a gamble, realistic or otherwise.

On the flip side, given this female stereotype that is sometimes inescapable, I've too often been pegged in the wrong way in the assumption that I'm like 'other women': dishonest, which I'm not; I've been referred to as 'honest to a fault', which doesn't transfer over nearly enough, unfortunately, in the 'real world'.

I'm a female, and therefore suspect to too many other females.  It's really sad, as it's largely our culture and upbringing that has done this to us, so the reflexes are often unconscious.  It remains a vicious cycle.  I'm wary of other women, often for good reason, and at the same time am or have been treated like 'that kind of woman', which I'm not.  There have been damages, and not just to me.  Our children suffer for it as well.  Without conscious change, we are perpetuating patriarchy, or continuing to allow negative masculine forces to have the upper hand to our detriment, and to our children's, which is unacceptable.

Under Cover: Under Siege

Not the first time; hopefully nearly the last, though I'm not counting on it. Seems it comes with the territory of making big changes. There are always those one leaves behind in order to meet the next group of allies. Teams run most efficiently with all talents maximized, not exploited.

Really hate engaging in playing games, yet that's what it is to others. Unfortunately, it's a survival skill to get past the gauntlet into the light, to learn and so that others can as well, the ones that will carry the torch for some sort of positive progress, as opposed to the opposite.

The interesting thing is the other players are very good at convincing others they represent the good guys, when they only represent themselves and the good guys don't know who they are, or avoid them completely, for good reason, yet the masses fall for simply hearing them talk the talk, when those who know them know it's only talk, to shroud extreme dishonesty and cunning manipulation, good enough to fool most, which has nothing to do with intelligence or education.

It takes a critical thinker to discern what's being said over what's being done, not accepting anything at face value or as related, hearing what's not being said and seeking positive results. Below the surface is the sad reality, an incubator of toxicity that can be dangerous if tolerated for any significant duration. Things are not as they seem or as told, though it's human nature to simply listen and accept, without realizing there's another perspective entirely. And another reality.