Saturday, April 30, 2011

"Change"

There's no such thing as 'overwhelm'; "If you want to get something done, ask a busy person."

Was just online for hours doing research after an intense meeting that involved conversation about misdiagnosed kids and broken systems. Having a plan is one sure cure for 'ADD' or ADHD on the part of both kids, and parents.

I find myself saying constantly to the kids I work with that if I'd had someone to tell me now was the time to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life when I was their age, things would be different now.

Parents don't want to be parents, and the ones that do get very little real support when it matters or the quality of what is available is all about resources and access to them. That was at the heart of the conversation. It's not so much about wealth or the perception of it as it is about genuine caring. Numbers in the form of people with a common voice can sometimes do much more than financial incentives that corrupt people, organizations, and systems.

There are tradeoffs. Access to information and preparation is everything, including implementation and timing. We can't control the weather any more than we can control others' moods, though how we respond to each respectively is everything.

There are things that happen that we're not responsible for; we are responsible for our reactions to them. Ignorance can precipitate 'bad choices'. Emotion or fear can cloud all best possible judgments, as can bias or apathy.

Timing is everything, most of the time. And children's lives tick away by the minute that demands huge responsibility on the part of everyone who touches every moment of their young lives. Labeling is no help if you don't understand root causes. Training with huge gaps in other disciplines and misinterpretations of symptoms of both children and cultures affect lifetimes. We are responsible for who we choose to be in contact with, and the quality of communication determines the quality of outcomes. It can take another person's life in one direction or another, for better, or for worse.

Think twice before you speak, and if you don't know, a delayed answer is better than a wrong one. If more were held accountable for the effects of what they say to or around others, things would be different. Some laws are worth no more than the paper they're written on: a result of a different or uninformed agenda. Laws are passed and ignored every day. Documentation to justify a bad decision: there are as many of those as there are appropriate justifications. It just has to do with where you're standing or observing from.

A child or person who cannot handle change is sometimes right, and sometimes wrong; what's the big picture? Where are they coming from, and what's going on in their world, really?

If you're not qualified to answer, don't, for the benefit of those both directly and degrees of separation away. There's always another way to see things, always another side undiscovered. Out of sight and out of mind is only a perception issue. When you are not seeing the results of your past and present interactions, they're still happening, and it's a reflection of what you've said or done, of what you knew, or didn't know...