Trial by Fire

I don't like this new format in Blogger; am thinking of starting a new blog elsewhere, as have not been able to take the time to figure out how to have paragraph spaces between writing, which I create when writing, though now has not shown up in a completed post. This was not the case before. Speaking of cases, have had several going at once at a very uncomfortable pace with other families affairs pending a combination of efforts. I survived the last two weeks, though still not feeling nearly caught up to where anything feels manageable. My life or my family's cannot be sacrificed further, or my help to others cannot have priority over my own child. The balancing act is very challenging and lately more often than not feels like a tightrope in an earthquake. All we can really manage is one day at a time. Sometimes it seems ridiculous that every single tomorrow depends on today. Some say it's true. Sometimes the sense of overwhelm or tunnelvision to get through creates lots of clouds that can't be seen through in a single day.

Her

Everything was deleted after a half hour or more of work. The save didn't work when it should have as before. So here's another version of the similar thoughts that just wrote a different configuration of words... The young woman on the bus across from me didn't realize the person opposite her was the granddaughter of someone just as strikingly beautiful as she. She also likely had no idea that someday she would be the person sitting across from her: aged, no longer ogled by every male in her presence, as well as others. Ironically, I'm much more secure than when I was that beautiful, not as secure as my grandmother was at her age. My history was different, though I was the daughter of her son. I didn't know what I had when I had it in terms of youth assets, and didn't make the most of them from lack of confidence, and information, though maybe there was some purpose in why the 'beauty factor' wasn't capitalized on when it was most obvious. Beauty as such only goes so far, and doesn't mean much anymore in terms of accomplishments and steps forward. What was once important no longer is. A child needs his mother as much as I needed my grandmother at a time when it was natural and usual to be cared for by grandparents who lived in the same place. Now the world is a different place. Were it not for the 'tree huggers', some of us might not be here, though no one wishes to admit it. There's much to do; I'm slowing down only as much as the age of someone who was a lifestyle athlete finds acceptable in the present, with a stage one malignancy in the past to boot. The next generation is all that matters, so that grandchildren can be cared for in the same manner my grandmother took care of me, and served as my primary role model. First things first. One day at a time. Being there for those most important, as my grandmother was for us, as beautiful in her prime as the young woman on the bus, and remembered in much the same way.