State of Overwhelm

The end of the month was a Monday, that should be enough, though it isn't. Anytime the last day of the month is missed on 'Blog Day' there is too much going on for one person. Namely me. My child is the eye of the storm, in a good way, and it has been said the eye of the storm is the calmest place, which is not always true either.

I'm supposed to be wrong in saying a child can be the center of my universe, though if it were not for that child the Universe would not be what it is. Everything I do now is because of having become a parent, with experiences many parents cannot imagine, and that I would not wish on a so-called enemy. Everything that happens is already on top of something else. Some would say a chose this; if there's a parallel universe, the explanation is there. I don't have it at the moment. I have to be thankful no matter what, because someone else always has it worse. If nothing else, that is what the experience has taught me. That is no consolation, however, when what has happened involves one's only child that should not ever happen at all. To date, there has been no accountability, and what help was sought at the most critical time made things much worse, that has now compounded over time and the damages are irreversible. To stay positive or focused during such a years-long real life nightmare and remaining sane is a feat in and of itself. Handling others' similar experiences as a vocation is one way, though the vicarious trauma without anothers' being resolved is often simply too much to handle. Rest will not solve it, though it will allow for thoughts and processing that during other moments can be impossible. In this physical experience, there are limits. And the freedom to think productively can be critical.

Still others have it worse, and no matter how many times it's said, there is no consolation.