'Bearing' Repetition

It was intended to begin a new blog, on a new theme.  This is the first non monthly post since last year.

I was a 13 year old churchgoing virgin grandpa's granddaughter when Roe v. Wade was passed.  If it was ever mentioned by a then pastor, I wasn't listening, didn't know what the word 'abortion' meant, or both.  I'd actually been permitted to the pulpit earlier, quoting scripture about how men should treat their wives, at about age ten.

The laughter was with me more than against me, and I wasn't much off the mark.  If only I could have remembered, or taken my own advice later in life.  That wasn't the Plan.

Below is an essay sent to The New York Times for Op-Ed consideration.  As I know how what does and doesn't make press works, I'm not offended.  Experiences that took place between the above innocent time and now facilitated the following:


Too often lately, I'm confronted with a confounding question to which my answer either isn't heard, or I'm cut off before being able to answer at all.  

We have become so divided we are only one side or the other, and 'the other side' is also certain I represent 'the enemy', before I can even finish a sentence.  

So certain of 'who they are', many who pose the qualifying question seem as certain of who I am, before a single concept can be explained.  It's draining, yet I can't stop.  The stakes are too high.  It feels like trying to stop sheep being led off a cliff.

PRO LIFE & PRO CHOICE are not 'either or'.  

Pro life is respect for all life, that includes minor to elderly females having a choice to say 'no', to coercion of any kind, forced or unprotected sex, and ultimatums to abort a child, without premature death or losing a place to live.  

Reproductive rights includes being able to have or keep a child.  It does not necessarily mean 'abortion now, reproduce later' (or not), and those who exercise this view are few in contrast to when abortion is not the female's decision: the decision was made for her, before she went forward, alone, blamed, afraid for her life otherwise. 

What so many face post abortion is the same captivity, compounded by depression, potential substance abuse, and suicide.  We are failing to connect the dots, hacking at branches without acknowledging the roots.

As an aside, I happen to be vegan.  I could call anyone who eats meat a hypocrite for saying they're 'pro-life'.  As concepts that are connected must be 'spoon fed' it seems, I don't attempt to present overlapping issues if solid basic ones aren't being grasped.  

There are good people whose worlds have not collided with the realities of living in fear long term, when tunnel vision is a result of complex trauma and panic, and getting through the day is an accomplishment of itself.  This also happens behind the closed doors of the wealthy. Those who label don't realize how lucky they are, or maybe they wouldn't be so quick to point fingers.

Having a choice means being able to have a baby, with a place to go (& medical care), without fear of being killed, raped again, starving in the street, or actually being able to keep a baby with community supports.

Having a choice means a fair wage and enough to support a child alone without having to depend on another male, who makes more for the exact same job.  

Having a choice means your baby will not be snatched from the hospital nursery by CPS and trafficked for profit. 

Having a choice means having a baby might be an option if a loving adoptive home was waiting via means other than unregulated agencies that abuse tax dollars.  

Having a choice means knowing a rapist can be held accountable and not get custody or kill your child during court ordered unsupervised visits funded by taxpayer allocated untracked "fatherhood initiatives".

Having a choice means knowing where to go where protection actually exists, when going to authorities can or likely will result in your baby being taken by the very person you sought protection for your baby from, now with a small army of 'assistants' using unregulated tax dollars at your family's expense: you and your family paying for an abuser's defense, via tax proceeds. 

Having a choice means being able to have a baby safely, without additional fear, struggle, victimization, blame, shame, depression, misunderstanding, or lack. 

Having a choice means hope that's real, not desperation with no solution in sight. 

In the practice of law, constitutionally, there are no individual rights. The E.R.A. was introduced decades before Eisenhower, a Republican, took office.  That he supported it obviously wasn't enough.  

In 1848, the lesser known Declaration of Sentiments, written in a style to reflect the Declaration of Independence, was signed in addition to its female creators by over 30 male notables of the day, including Frederick Douglass.  Decades before women could vote, it illustrated how women were 'politely a notch above slaves'.  It's chilling how much hasn't changed from when it was created.

The legal definition of 'person' in the Constitution, presently, is 'household', meaning anyone other than 'head of household' is property in the application and practice of law.  I would find this difficult to fathom as reality, had I not witnessed first hand how this plays out with children and women systemically for nearly two decades after becoming a paralegal (2003). 

The E.R.A. becoming law would indicate women could say 'no', with protection rights, to forced abortion or sex, get an equal wage to support themselves and their families, be able to protect their children, pregnancies, and elderly in the home.  'Stranger crimes' and "domestic crimes" would require being prosecuted equally, unlike now.  

Laws 'on the books', passed by legislation, can have little or no meaning in political courts: 'mere' workplaces that see the same attorneys and judges daily, where new or 'good' laws are ignored, if known at all, and 'precedent', especially bad precedent, seems to be preferred to favor the defendant with the most resources, personally, or via state funds, such as those tapped into as "fatherhood initiatives".  

Many have referred to 'legal' environments as 'marketplaces' or "auctions", where children go to 'the higher bidder', and decisions or orders are spun to fit 'funding criteria'.   "It's not about the truth", as an attorney, who became a judge, related.

Passing of the E.R.A. will mean fewer abortions and murders of children and women (not more).  It's not a female or child's choice to be captive, told to 'have an abortion or don't come back', with death, homelessness, and being trafficked very real possibilities if they refuse.  

The E.R.A. could also mandate community supports so that anyone who can escape or wants to have their baby or keep their children actually has somewhere to go. Some of the most vulnerable would be provided means of access to help that could mean actual safety, not further compounded systemic victimization, or death. 

Reaching out for 'legal help' as a final resort, if possible at all, might no longer serve to make things times worse, in unthinkable unforeseen ways, with individual rights, as opposed to 'household rights', upheld, in this country.

With the E.R.A. in place, 'Roe v Wade' could become insignificant or moot.  This is good news for those who want it overturned, with a perplexing twist: 'it's the Equal Rights Amendment.  Doesn't that mean women will have even more choices?' The benefits far outweigh where we are now: women are largely the protectors of children, babies, and the elderly.  Their numbers far exceed the 'killers'.  Simply put, women having individual rights means less death.  

Those who wish to continue in many forms of veiled legal genocide don't want the privileges they have rampantly exercised reined in, and are adept at countless smoke & mirror tactics developed over decades.  Their favorite sympathizers are the well meaning, who haven't witnessed the dark realities that careers are built upon, a trail of dead children in their wake, with far too few held accountable.

What most don't realize is the disparity of data, now in scattered compilation, of how not having individual rights has served to decimate the unborn, babies, children, women, seniors, and families in a household, none of whom have separate personhood, which the ERA would provide.  It's well past time to lift the veil.  The bride has left the building.  She's not coming back.